Things I Never Thought I'd Have To Say

Max was helping me make chocolate banana bread. I turned around during the process and noticed he was licking his finger. This could be completely fine while baking, or it could be totally scary.

"Max, what are you licking?" I asked.

He quickly removed his finger from his mouth and tucked his hands behind his back.

"Nuffing," he answered.

"Was it a booger?" I asked.

"No," he answered. "It was somefing from my eye."

I turned my back to him so I could hide my face while I gagged.

"Max!" I finally managed. I turned around to face him. "Do you eat your poop or pee?"

"No," he said. "But, Mom, the fing from my eye was just small!"

"I don't care!" I answered. "You don't eat things that come out of your body!"