Hooliganism

Recently, a representative of State Farm insurance knocked on my door. He wanted to see if State Farm could give us a better deal on car and home insurance than we have with our current insurance company. I gave him the information he requested and he left. A few days later, I received a call from a State Farm agent. She wanted a little more detail about our insurance. I agreed to speak to her because I am always looking to save money. She proceeded to ask me questions about what type of cars I own, who our insurance provider is, how much we pay for insurance, etc.

During this process, my rambunctious little hooligans were doing laps around our tiny house and baby Third was kicking around on the floor. The older two were creating a thunderous din over which I could barely hear the woman on the phone. I have been on the other end of similar phone calls and I know that the background noise was probably deafening to the point where she struggled to hear my answers to her questions.

I chose to ignore the chaos so I could end the call as quickly as possible, figuring it would be easier than trying to discipline JayJay and Max while talking to the insurance agent at the same time.

But I looked up and there was Max standing on top of Third. He was holding onto the rocking recliner so it probably wasn't his full body weight on my poor little baby's chest and tummy, but he was literally standing on his baby brother.

I snapped.

"HEY, GET OFF THE BABY!!!!" I bellowed without even taking the phone away from my face to dull the roar.

Max hopped off and continued to gallop around the house after JayJay. Third seemed unperturbed and wasn't even crying. The pandemonium continued with barely a pause. I remembered I was in the middle of a phone call. Oops!

"Sorry," I said to the caller, wincing. I had probably just ruptured her eardrum.

She was laughing. She laughed and laughed.

It turns out she had six kids of her own and her youngest was a senior in high school. So she knew. She knew.

Nail Clippers Guessing Game

I always marvel at how different my oldest two boys are. For example, we took JayJay and Max to see the movie Brave while it was in theater. When the part with the scary bear came on, JayJay cuddled up against my man and whimpered with fear. He was four at the time. On the other hand, two-year-old Max jumped out of his seat and shouted, "Bear! Yeah! ROAR! ROOOAAARRRR!!!!!"

Well, their differences were recently demonstrated for me again.

JayJay had something in his hand. He hid his hands behind his back and asked me to guess which hand he was holding the object in. Luckily, I guessed right the first time. So he hid his hands again and instructed me to guess again. I guessed the other hand and was correct. We went through this process over and over. Each time I guessed right since JayJay kept switching hands back and forth. Not once did he keep the object in the same hand twice. He finally gave up.

"Wow, Mom!" he said. "You're really good!"

He was very impressed with my guessing skills and I was feeling pretty smug about myself. I love having my boys think I am Superwoman.

A few days later I sent Max upstairs to fetch some nail clippers so I could trim his toenails. After a while he returned.

"I have the nail clippers, Mom," he said. He hid his hands behind his back and said, "Guess which hand."

I guessed a hand. Wrong. He hid his hand again. I guessed the other hand. Wrong. He hid his hand. I guessed the same hand twice. Wrong. Over and over again I guessed wrong, no matter what tricks I tried to catch him with the clippers in the hand I guessed.

Finally, when I guessed wrong again, he kept his empty hand held out in front of him. "Guess the other one," he said.

So I guessed the one hand still hiding behind his back. He brought it out and opened it to show me his palm. "Nope! See? Nuffing!"

Yep, he didn't even have the nail clippers. He had me guessing just so he could give me the run-around. That's pretty sophisticated humor for a three-year-old. I certainly don't feel quite so smug anymore.

JayJay's First Ear-Worm

"Be quiet!" five-year-old JayJay said as he came down the stairs. "I'm listening to my brain sing."

I laughed and asked him, "Your brain is singing?"

"Yep," he answered. He wandered around for a minute and then sat down on the couch by me. After a moment, he suddenly blurted, "Don't get too close!"

Amused, I asked, "Was that a part of your brain song?"

"Yes," he said.

"Sing it again," I said.

"Just a minute," he replied. "I have to wait until it gets to it again." Then after a while he repeated, "Don't get too close! Don't get too close!"

I smiled to myself while I browsed Facebook. Suddenly, something bumped into the side of my head. It was JayJay. With his forehead pressed against my ear, he said, "Here. You can listen to my brain. Do you hear it?"

"Yes," I pretended, trying not to burst out laughing.

"It's a good song, huh?" he said. "Do you like it?"

"Yes," I said. "It's an awesome song!"

"Dad," he said. JayJay got up from the couch and went to my man who was sitting in the rocking recliner. He pressed his head against my man's ear. "Do you like my brain song?"

"Yeah," said my man.

"It's a rock song," said JayJay. Then he sang, "Don't get too close! Don't get too close!" over and over again.

Twenty minutes later he approached me again. "Mom, I want you to listen to the music with me." He pressed his head against mine, ear to ear this time. "Listen until it gets to another one," he instructed. He waited and waited with his head against mine for five minutes.

"What song is this called?" he asked me.

"I don't know."

"Dad, what song is this?"

My man didn't know either. Finally JayJay said, "We're going to stop now because the song is ending."

But we were really curious. What song was he hearing in his brain? My man looked for songs titled "Don't Get Too Close" on iTunes. He played two of them for JayJay. No luck. Neither song was the one he was hearing. So I searched Google for lyrics that contained the line. The first one to come up was "Demons" by Imagine Dragons. We just happened to go to an Imagine Dragons concert recently and their music is all over the radio. So we played the song.

"This is it! This is the song!" said JayJay. "Mom, do you know what my favorite part is in that rockstar song?"

"What part?" I asked.

"Don't get too close!" he sang.

"I can tell," I answered.

"That's my favorite part," he said, "but I like all of the parts."

He's got one serious ear-worm! I'm glad the mystery is solved and what a great song to be playing in his head over and over.