Shall I Compare Thee to a Trigonometric Function?

This might be too much information, but it was pretty funny, especially if you're a math nerd like my man.

He was sitting on the couch.  I had a hankering for a little bedtime entertainment.  I went and stood between his knees and rested my arms on his shoulders.  He wrapped his arms around my waist and looked up at me.

"I'm done with my period," I said.

"You are?"  He smiled at me and thought for a moment.  Then he said, "You're a trigonometric function."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're periodic."  Then he added, "Sine, because you have curves."  And he ran his hands over my body.

I'm a math problem.  Way to make me feel sexy, honey.

Bedtime Entertainment of a Different Sort

My man brushed his teeth in the bathroom. On his way into the bedroom to go to bed, he shut the door. Normally, this action is reserved for when we want a little bedtime entertainment, if you know what I mean. Otherwise, we sleep with the door open. But on this night, he did not lock the door, just closed it. Then he climbed into bed beside me and went to sleep.

Hours later a loud crash startled me. I lifted my head, blinking rapidly, trying to wake up quickly and identify the cause of the noise. My bleary eyes located my man standing next to the closed door.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"Are you ok?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. He opened the door and went to the bathroom to pee.

When he returned I asked, "What happened?"

"I thought the door was open," he explained.

"Didn't you have your eyes open?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said.

Yep, he tried to walk right through a closed door. We laughed about it for a while before we fell back to sleep.