Birdseed for Christmas

My man and I had stayed up past midnight stuffing stockings, wrapping presents, and setting out all the Santa goodies under the Christmas tree. We went to bed exhausted but happy and very excited to see the reaction of our little boys in the morning.

While I was laying there trying to fall asleep, my man suddenly announced, "You are an ostrich."

"An ostrich?" I asked. "Why am I an ostrich?"

"Because," he answered. "You've got your head stuck in the sand."

My man has a habit of talking, walking, and even jumping on the bed in his sleep. It is usually worse when he is stressed about work. At this point in the conversation, I began to suspect that he was not awake.

So I asked him, "Are you awake?"

"Yes," he said.

"No, you're not," I replied.

"Yes I am."

"No, you're not."

"Yes I am!" He sounded frustrated that I didn't believe him.

"Prove it," I demanded. "What day is it?"

"Christmas day," he answered.

"Really?" I asked. Then I thought of the perfect question to prove his state of consciousness. If he was awake, he would refuse to answer. If he was asleep, he would tell me the truth. Genius. "What did you get me for Christmas?"

"Birdseed."

I laughed so hard I woke him up.